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- The BattleFlag - A Tasteful Review of Culture, Religion and Politics, This month’s bit of revolting hails from the land down under and begins with the delightful duo; John and Jenny Deaves., A study from our friends down under found that men who ejaculated more than five times each week were a third less likely to develop prostate cancer, and their was much rejoicing on WOW and Second Life., If you were fortunate enough to miss the democratic debate between Obama and Clinton this month you should probably skip this article., It’s only May and I think it’s safe to say that I’m already tired of the democratic process. The thought that we have to endure any more of this is enough to make me huddle under a blanket for the next six months with a bag of pretzels and an oil drum full of ether., After years of testing Pfizer and Nektar Therapeutics have successfully combined a way to treat diabetes that causes lung cancer., The specter of Truck Nutz, a delightful piece of gear that adorns the back’s of various trucks in the southern states, has reared its ugly purple head yet again., I hope you’re feeling photogenic. It is at this time that I’m delighted to introduce The National Application Office’s first foray into civil rights violation: SPYYYYING FRRROOOOM SPAAAAAACCCE., Proof that a higher power does in fact exist surfaced this month as CBS canceled its new reality show “"Secret Talents of the Stars" after only one episode., For those of you who didn’t receive an invitation from the tinfoil hat crowd, a group of UFO enthusiasts met in beautiful Eureka Springs Arkansas this month. Plans to beam the invites to participants telepathically again next year were scrapped due to this year’s poor turnout and the group sponsoring the conference will resort to more conventional methods in the future., There’s a reason why Wal-Mart is one of the most successful retailers in history; a reason beyond the low prices and sweatshops and polyester blue vests or bouncing yellow smiley faces, This month President Bush declared that abstinence programs were an unabashed success and pointed to the startling drop in teen pregnancy rates as evidence of the program’s superiority over other, more practical, solutions., A recent study revealed that three out of ten U.S. public school students do not graduate from high school, and major city school districts only graduate one out of two students which is like…almost less than half., Ladies and gentlemen, loyal readers and loyal members who cannot read I would like to direct your attention to the next greatest threat to our children…the game of tag., CNN recently ran some filler about how some parents are throwing birthday parties for toddlers that rival the cost of some weddings. I know it’s awful but I couldn’t avoid watching CNN. I was flipping channel and the story latched on to me, like a story about rubberneckers staring at an accident on the highway grips me as I’m watching TV while driving down the road., I think it’s safe to say that we’ve reached some sort of tipping point as a culture when a book is written, and published, to explain to an eight year old child that her mother’s just had plastic surgery., London, England - I was tooling through Gizmodo’s site looking for a review on the latest gas powered blow-up doll when I was presented with incontrovertible evidence that our society has entered an inexorable decline., I think it’s safe to say that we’ve got about 50 years left until our society devolves into complete and utter anarchy. By my reckoning it will take 30 years for the newest crop of twits to take up the mantle of leadership and another 20 until they’ve screwed things up so completely that everyone left will be surviving on potted meat products and cockroaches.
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